This page will show you the best strategy with regards to the first message you send to other singles on Plenty Of Fish dating..
Regarding first messages on Plenty Of Fish and other dating sites, think QUANTITY, not quality.
🧾 Technical Details of Best Initial Messages to Send to Women on POF
Plenty Of Fish gets a lot of bad press, especially from guys. One of the most common complaints on Plenty of Fish is 'I take the time to read a girls profile and send them a really nice, well thought out, first email to them and I get no replies'. The answer is DON'T - create a long well thought out message, that is.
Although this web page applies to both men and women on Plenty Of Fish, these tips are more geared towards men as women have no problem getting guys to message them.
Humans are visual creatures. That means the first thing they are going to look at when you send them a message is your pictures. If they like your pictures they will read your profile description text. If nothing about that sets off any dating red flags they will proceed to reply to your email. The best first message to send a girl or a guy on Plenty Of Fish or any dating site is a simple 'Hello' or 'How are you Doing?' or 'Any luck on this site?'.
I know this may be hard to believe but I know from my own personal experience and the experience of other POF members we have asked that this type of message is the best first message to send. Why? Its straightforward, direct, non-desperate and normal sounding.
If someone on POF likes your profile and pictures then a long first message will serve as a turn off more than a turn on. Nobody wants to read a dating thesis. That is what your dating profile is for. A really long first message makes it look like you are too eager or have no friends.
Think Quantity Not Quality
Unless you are extremely good looking, above average, then the volume approach is the best overall POF dating strategy.
Wait until after the person responds to your first message to send longer messages.
Send short, simple messages to lots of singles. But not TOO short. About 2 sentences or so is good length for your first message on Plenty Of Fish.
Sit back and wait for the ones who are interested to reply back.
"Think of it as fishing - no pun intended. Imagine going to a lake where there are plenty of fish (couldn't resist) but you don't know what type of bait appeals to them. Instead of putting out one line, put out lots of lines. When you see a line getting a nibble yank the fish out of the water. Dating, online and off, is a number game. The idea is to get people to look at your profile and contact you. This is what we had in mind with the Plenty Of Fish Fast Software."
Type OF First Messages to Not Send
Some of these tips were inspired by the Plenty Of Fish blog. (did you know Pleny Of Fish had a blog?)
For men messaging women, don't compliment them on their looks. One of the bigger frustrations women face on free dating sites is men just looking for a hookup. In addition, 90% of messages they get from guys DO compliment them on their looks so doing the same thing makes your blend in instead of stand out. NO women on Plenty Of Fish are looking for hookups.
Don't fish for (oops) or offer contact information. Coming on too strong. Guaranteed you won't get a reply if you do this, and if you do you should run.
Avoid text message style abbreviations like UR for YOUR or PEEPS for PEOPLE. MOST women on dating sites are looking for a guy who has at least an average level of education and intelligence and while messaging in this fashion is NOT really a sign of education or intelligence, many people, especially women, still get put off by this type of messaging style. For some strange reason, supposedly, OK cupid research indicates that including HA HA (not capitalized) significantly increases first message response rates. You will have to experiment with this one on your own.
First Messages that Increase Reply Rates
Mention something from their profile in your first message. This shows the girl you at least looked at her profile and not just her pictures.
End your first message with a question. Combined with the previous tip of keeping the first message short and simple, for example.
Hi. I am James. Where do you prefer to ski? (assuming there is a picture of her skiing.)
I see you workout too. What do you think of Planet Fitness? (assuming you can tell she works out by her pictures.)
Send messages to women when they first come online. In fact, when sending messages to women when they first come online, it is a good idea to include in your message the fact that you are online now. This creates the feeling they can connect with a real human being right now and makes you be seen more as a real person versus an online dating profile.
You may find it interesting to read OK Cupid experiments in online dating which is the documentation of experiments carried out related to online dating and things that work regarding your dating profile and messaging.
